Truly feminist picture book recommendations and paternity leave is over

Woo hoo! Had to share this lovely post responding to my recent post championing Elisabeth’s call for picture books with varied female characters and a gender balanced cast. Whew. Were you able to connect all those dots? Hope so. I don’t have much time to preen my writing because A. is back to work today. Sigh.

I’ve been weepy as a willow for the last 24 hours. Having his presence at home for 7 weeks (yes, SEVEN) has been nothing short of miraculous. He provides an extra set of arms for bouncing babies or wrangling older boys. He installs sliding glass doors where once there were windows.

dining1 dining2

Pretty amazing, huh?

And he also makes tea in the morning with the perfect amount of sugar and milk.

I miss him.

I also feel like a big fat wuss for feeling this way, since he was around for SEVEN weeks. Thank you, A’s boss, for setting up your company policy to allow your employees to have access to the Family and Medical Leave Act even though you’re not legally required to, since you employ way less than 50 people. And thank you, State of California, for having the California Paid Family Leave program which made it possible for us to afford SEVEN weeks without A’s salary.

I don’t know a single person whose partner has been able to take this much time off after the birth of a baby. Not one. And may I please say that that is ridiculous. And sad. And just plain stupid.

I’ll keep my rant short, but it seems to me that one of the most basic things a country can do to support its people is to support its newest members and those bringing them into the world. And expecting new moms and dads to just ally-oop back to work lickety split puts tons of stress on new families. And directly influences mental and physical health of parents, health outcomes for newborns, and emotional lives of siblings to name a few. I don’t have the time or energy to go looking for all of the studies and articles that I’m sure have been written about this (if you have any at your fingertips, please share!!) but I’m sure that babies and parents are healthier and happier when parents are able to stay home and settle in for more than 5 minutes.

Here I am all weepy as hell and I got seven (SEVEN!) weeks of support from my partner, not to mention tons of food and childcare from friends. I know I could have handled it if A. wound up with the typical, all-American 1 or 2 weeks off, but I’m oh so grateful that I didn’t have to. And I know that there are tons of folks out there that don’t have a choice. And that makes me angry. Political rant-y angry.

Baby C is waking up, and there’s grocery shopping to do and J to pick up at one. I’m off to my solo parenting immersion.

Hope all is well with you, dear readers.

6 thoughts on “Truly feminist picture book recommendations and paternity leave is over

  1. You are doing great!! Its hard with two! Your hubby sounds like mine . . . we are so blessed to have such wonderful hands on dad’s. I would go crazy without Emerson. Take care, Sarah

  2. Seven weeks is a lot in our society, but that doesn’t mean it’s “a lot.” You have every right to feel weepy. Hang in there! Weep away! Do good! You’ve got this.

  3. You can do it, though it will be hard at times. I totally agree on the paltry paternity leave setting new families up for unnecessary difficulties.

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